The Big Day

Today i had off work so I slept in. I did not move a muscle until around 7:00, and then i got up at 7:20. I am so pathetic. the exciting thing about having a day off was an extra long quiet time with Jesus. Quiet times not only make for a better day but they also work well for distracting one from what is to come. THE TEST.

One of the first things my driving instructor asked me when i got in the car at 12:00 was if i had prayed over my road test yesterday. yesterday? What did he think i was doing while i waited for him to pull in?

So we drove to Genseo and did several three point turns and parallel parks until it was clear that i was as good as i would get in one day. We proceeded to pull up in front of the green sign announcing the test area. We were fist in line. As the inspector walked toward the car my driving instructor leaned over and told me the guys name and that he was a baptist minister he knew pretty well, a good guy. He looked nice, not grumpy or stern or like he would get kicks out of failing nice sweet girls such as myself.

He hopped in the car and asked for my paperwork. the first thing i noticed was that his sun glasses completely blocked any view of his eyes. eyes are where i read expressions and thoughts. I could not for the life of me even sense in the slightest bit what was going through his head, but he seemed relaxed and chill. Maybe it was good i could not tell his thoughts otherwise i might have been looking for negative reactions instead of looking at the road.

We pulled out and he told me to do the one thing my driving instructor told me he would be highly unlikely to ask me to do. He had me turn at THE dangerous intersection with the blinking red light. thankfully we had practiced it once with specific instructions as to how to handle the turn, and i did fine. We did a few turns on streets, went around the stupid fountain. Who started this whole stick a sculpture int eh middle of an intersection thing anyhow? seriously! On one street we did a parallel park which i did perfectly,parked right against the curb without hitting it, observed everything around me as i was supposed to, etc. Then we did the k turn where i made my one mistake. when i went to back up to finish the turn i looked back and slowly let off the brake only to feel the car jerk every so slightly forward. STUPID!!!! reverse usually works best. did i the the instructor notice? He probably did even without my making a "urf" sound and gritting my teeth as i put the car in reverse. Form there we returned to the starting place and parked. Did he mark me for my mistake? well "trying to back while in drive" does not exactly show up on the point list. On my temporary license paper it says... "total points: 0" the other burning question my driving instructor and i waited and watched to have answered. Did he take the next student though the dangerous intersection...nope. Why me? What my driving instructor told me is quite simple, i was in a car with a break on the passenger side, if i pulled out before it was safe the test dude could just hit the break and of course instantly fail me. I am so glad i did it right.

My test was of course not the only thing i did today i also talked with Mrs Scott and discovered that my room for the fall has been changes to a nice big room with a bug walk in closet, crooked floor but considering it is like practically twice the size of the room i thought i would have i aint gonna complain. I also stopped in at Lima Christian School where i was in the band for four years. the first thing i noticed walking in was all the beautiful flowers along the front of the building. were they there 6 years ago? I know there were flowers but surely they were not as pretty or i would have noticed, i would remember. Walking through the halls i expected deja vu sort of feelings but no such feeling came. It more felt like going somewhere that you went once or twice many years ago. I think ti because i am a different person then i was when i was 14 and i have lost most of my ability to identify with who i was, to feel the emotion i felt and understand them. I think differently and cannot understand why i thought as i did then. this is not the first i have noticed this change. Has it been a slow change? some what but a lot of it has come in just the last year.. year ago on July 9th i was very much aware it was the 5th anniversary of my horse accident that put an end to the only thing i cared about when i was 14. this year i was also aware of the date because it was a number i frequently used for a couple of years. As i wrote the date in my journal i accidentally wrote 7/9/03 instead of 09 and i had to stop and think why i would do that. realizing i laughed to myself, who cared? why did i think that date was significant? it was meaningless. My life did not end there it opened up to a real life that actually meant something.

At any rate this had become o very long blog and it is almost dinner time so i shall end here.